She is right!!! I am not sure what it is, but when I get really stressed out the first thing I want to do is hide and not deal with anything. When we were engaged and moved in together, we put our finances together and tried to run our household. I know when I was young my mom handled the money and I saw how it would stress her out a lot, so I guess I thought I would let Felicia deal with it. We split it up 50/50, her job was to pay the bills and my job was to complain about having no money.
Now, that is not working together. Since I did not where the money was going, I wanted to spend like we had all the money in the world. In the end, I realized it was not fair to Felicia. She had to keep track of all the bills, pay them on time, and when money was thin, deal with me complaining.
Now we sit down before each pay day and spend the money before it is in the bank. We look at what bills are coming up, what we are going to spend on household things, but the very first thing we do is pay ourselves. Felicia still goes online and pays most of the bills, but we both know what needs to paid and when.
I still remember those early days, we would fight and blame each other and then still not solve anything. We would take out payday loans, skip a utility bill to go out and have fun because we were stressed and needed a night out. Taking the night out, did not make us feel better about money the next day. I know we have only been doing better with money for a few months, but we can enjoy a conversation about money and our goals. We are on the same page!
Goals: 1. Debt Free 2. Buy a house 3. Retire comfortably 4. Send our kids to college 5. Open our dream business, Felicia's bookstore